I still feel like there is a dam inside me.....that only a little water gets over the dam every day....but the pressure is still there.....I know Amy would not like the fact that I can hardly even think of her without bursting into tears......I know that she would rather I forgot about her completely than to cry every time I think of her......There is still a voice in my head that starts frantically saying "NO ,NO, NO...its not true......." She would want us to remember her and smile........I hope someday I can honor her in that way........


Twice THIS month I have had to face a horrible death.....and it brings back that initial pain that sent me screaming to the floor.........Pray that I will be able to help the families ....and not become to consumed by my own pain......

Not many.......

Not many people have a friend like Amy....
Someone who's been around so long ...you can't remember a time without them.....
Someone who can tell what your thinking by looking at you....
Someone you just always get along with.........
Someone who likes the same kinds of things...places and people....
Someone who would share everything...and never ask for anything in return.....
Someone who can make you laugh no matter what the problem is.....
Someone you feel like half a person without!

Not many people have lost someone like Amy.....

I know because they tell me I should be "over" it by now....
They tell me to let go........Move on......

That is how I know they have never had an "Amy" in their lives...or if they have one...they have not lost them yet........