On this day 4 years ago I was at an airport in Sacramento saying goodbye...what I didn't know then...was it would be the last time I would ever see her alive....I still haven't figured out how to live without her....I feel lost...and I still can't believe she is gone....and everything within me wants to scream NO NO NO NO at the top of my lungs.......I have a few times....but I scare people when I do...and it doesn't bring her back.....I guess I will just go cry myself to sleep...again....