HAPPY BIRTHDAY GAGE !!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BUG !!!

This is gage at his Tae Kwon Do class..he is very good !! They wouldn't let me take pictures with my camera...I think because its to distracting for the kids....but being the rebel I am I snuck one with my cell phone !!

I hope you have a great birthday !!! You are a great little man, your family is so proud of you !

I wish I could be there to celebrate with you , Know that I am there in my heart ! Love YA !!

Should be......

This should be one of the happiest times of my life, we are buying our first home, something we have wanted for a very long time........But, since I first heard they accepted our offer a sadness has haunted me .......I cried because I wanted so bad to call her.....she was always tellin me we needed to settle down...quit moving....she quit writing my address in pen......cuz she knew it would be changing before the ink could dry. She would be so excited.......I always promised her that she would be my first house guest ! She always said she wouldn't believe I actually bought a house tell she could see the place (and the paperwork to prove it! ) for herself !!! I am hoping I can talk her mom into coming up and bringing the kids.....I think Amy would like that.....I miss her so much.......

I miss her so much.....there is a gaping hole where she used to be.......I have not posted much lately...I have been trying to find new ways to dull the ache that haunts me night and day...I thought maybe if I took a break and didn't post.....put away all the pictures, except the one I have in my locket that I wear around my neck.......I hoped it would help me to not think of her so much .........But alas ...it didn't work.

I did find out something interesting from my doctor.....I have been sick more this year than I have in the last 5 yrs combined and I was again calling him to see if I could get a refill for one of my many aliments....and we chatted for a moment ......He ran across some studies that show when a person goes through a sudden tragedy......that the brain reacts in the same way it does for someone who has had a sever head injury......so I am not going crazy as I supposed...... The doctor of course would like to put me back on anti-depressants...but I can no go there again!! I will just have to fight this one through......