Well...I made it through the 28th with no major break downs. I kept myself busy and went out to dinner and a movie with a few close friends. The next hurdle will be next week when I go back for the first time since last year to see her family. Don't get me wrong I love them all dearly.....but I feel like I have really failed Amy in this area. I haven't kept in contact like I should have, if it were completely up to me , I would have moved down there to help out. But that is unrealistic, I can't uproot my family and leave other family behind that need me......But I still feel I should have done more. I should have spoke at her funeral, but I was doing good just to be there...I fully expected to get hauled away in a little white coat to visit a padded room.......still even now from time to time I think I hear the rumbling of the paddy wagon coming to take me away.......So pray for US -Tawni is going with me and I know it won't be easy for her either.....She has been my rock...she holds me when I cry, and runs for the tissue......I don't know what I would do without her.....